I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I wear drunk well.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
