I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
