so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just high enough for therapy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize