Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
