i would punch a child for taco bell
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
