she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
