I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
