So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
