look no pants
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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