The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
