Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
