1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
