i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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