the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
