at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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