It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
