you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
