All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize