In the future we'll all be gay
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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