I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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