yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize