she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize