Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize