I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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