Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
