Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
