can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
