I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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