How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize