Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
