Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
