how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
