Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
