Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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