This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
