I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
