tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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