my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i think i just lost a toe
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
