You work out of a Hotel?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
