My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
