I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it's like iHOP with fire
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
