I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
