The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize