It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The beer is more important than you right now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
