saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
