home. puking in laundry basket.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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