i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
