Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I forget how to act sober
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
