i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
