I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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