You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How naked do you want me to be?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
