At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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