So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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