So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
