I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
