She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
