Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
