you traded sex for a burrito?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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