I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
