Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
