He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
