it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
